I didn’t make any resolutions this year.
I’m not against resolutions, really, but…no, I’m against resolutions. For me, at least. See, I go with really big, overly ambitious resolutions, things that don’t ever happen and thus can’t possibly have a positive influence on my life. I can’t help it. January is such a “go big or go home” month. One year just ended, for better or worse, and now here’s a beautiful clean slate to paint myself upon, however I want; simply make a magical resolution.
Obviously that’s not how it is for everyone. Some people pick one thing, stick with it, and 12 months later they’re a better person. Some people pick a bunch of tiny things, stuff they’ve said for months they want to work on but were too busy or unmotivated or whatever. Either way, I’m not for it. If I’m not responsible enough to fix the things that are wrong in my life during the other 11 months of the year, then there’s no way I’m going to hold myself to any resolutions.
Instead, I propose we start going with New Year’s Refreshers, habits we got started throughout the past year but that maybe were sidetracked by the holidays. I’m sure that’s what plenty of people’s resolutions really are, an attempt to get back to the gym after a two-month hiatus, not a two-year (or two-decade) break.
I made a bunch of resolutions last year, but I don’t think I was able to stick with any of them for 12 months. Actually, let me rephrase: I don’t think I was able to hit any of those goals. Because honestly, a few were habits, sure, but most were goals, and some of them were beyond my control. Which brings up another question: what are resolutions meant to be? Habits that I incorporate into my life and make a part of me? Or goals set for the year with black & white answers to the “Did I succeed?” question? Is that the problem I’m really having? Maybe I’m making the wrong kinds of resolutions?
But even if I make the “right” kinds of resolutions, habits instead of goals, mightn’t that be even worse? “Read more” is a habit, but one that’s easy to ignore, while “Read 100 books” is a concrete goal, a pass/fail test for the year. Which is the better resolution? I actually read 100 books in 2013, and it sucked. It wasn’t fun. I didn’t get nearly as much enjoyment from my reading as I could/should have. Mission accomplished, though, so yay?
On the other hand, I wrote 365 sonnets, one every day, and feel I’m a better writer for it. But shouldn’t I write every day anyway? I’m a writer; why did I need a resolution to write?
I guess what I’m saying is, I’ll just live into who I want to be; I don’t need resolutions for that.